Monday, March 24, 2008

Dentist is a PUSHER

Peyton will be a happy drunk. Either that or he'll be the one that you can not convince has had a few too many. I'm not sure which, but I am hoping for the first. Curious as to how I know this? No, I did not ply him with green ale or whiskey on St Patrick's day. Nor do I leave full shot glasses laying around. What kind of a mother do you think I am. Uhh...don't answer that.

About a month and a half ago Peyton's two lower "big" teeth came in behind his baby ones. Although the babies were loose they were not ready to come out and Peyton was a bit squeamish about helping them. He has been blessed with my narrow palate and there is simply not enough room for his adult teeth. The dentist recommended pulling the bottom four. Peyton has always done extremely well at the dentist, but at his last exam they tried to take x rays and he FREAKED out. So they scheduled us for a return visit where he could be sedated. Thus saving them from inevitably having to wear hearing aids.

Last Tuesday we arrived at 8 am for Peyton to be medicated. He chugged down a glass of versed cocktail like a college frat boy. Then we sat in the lobby and waited for it to take affect. Soon he was giggly, babbling incoherently and hallucinating. He was extremely amusing to the entire waiting room which he was enjoying even in his diminished capacity. However, he kept insisting that he could get up and walk. He dropped his book and as I bent down to get it so did he. He promptly fell of the bench and laid splayed all over the floor cracking up.

He went through the extractions without incident and spent the rest of the day laying on the couch dozing and bossing me around. During this time we had numerous conversations about the Tooth Fairy. Peyton was extremely interested as to why she would want his teeth. Cade said that she eats them like popcorn and that they are her favorite food. Peyton thinks she is a little girl who doesn't want to grow up. Every time she looses a baby tooth she replaces it with someone else's.

At bedtime we placed his four pearly whites into a tiny box and put them lovingly under his pillow. He decided to sleep at the other end of his bed. He was very concerned that he would swallow her or perhaps roll over and crush her tiny body. I crept in later and placed a book, four crisp one dollar bills and a note under his pillow. In my teeny, tiniest handwriting I wrote a note from the Tooth Fairy thanking him for so many beautiful teeth. He was thrilled the next morning.

Now the teeth are in my underwear drawer and will shortly be thrown away. I have had several people tell me that they keep their kids teeth. EWWWW.


  1. I love their explanations for the tooth fairy... so cute!

  2. I don't know what to do with the teeth. My mom saved mine and asked me if I wanted them. EEEEW Of course I don't. So now I don't know what to do with the kids' teeth and I don't know what I've done with the ones DS already lost. Nor do I know where they are. I'll have to ask my husband if we kept them.

  3. I (I mean the TF) always leave the teeth behind. Too hard trying to fish around & find them! The first few losses are big money losses (probably too much but I just tell them the TF pays big for the 1st) & then it dwindles down to $1.00 per tooth. Lydia is breaking the bank right now though At her age she is losing teeth like a puppy!

    Peyton sounds like a very philosophical, happy chap!
    God love the versed, but it should come with a warning! The dentist office had to sedate Isaac once & gave him the versed & sd we'll call you back when we're ready. Never sd to keep him near by, or that he'd be goofy or groggy, come on folks here's a little guy who became a 3 yr old mess @ the time, 2 minutes later he stands up & does a head dive into the wooden table & then goes backwards into a toybox! Looked like he got into a 10-round match w/ Rocky :)

  4. First off, I cannot believe the dentist uses versed for kids. It's way too powerful.
    Second, I just couldn't bear to lie to them about the Tooth Fairy. Santa was bad enough. I left money and let them draw their own conclusion. I wanted to say I kept the teeth so I could do spells with them to make them behave, but that would be a lie. Peyton was stoned, not drunk. Let's hope you never have to find out what kind of drunk he is. Nobody wants their kid coming home puking and breaking things.

  5. a fun drunk! (He's going to be a hit at college parties.)

    And $1.00 for a TOOTH? God, I'm old. By the time my kid starts losing teeth, it'll probably be $5.00 a tooth.

    Inflation sucks.

  6. I doubt I will keep them. At first I kept Max's umbilical stump, but once it fell out of his baby book and I was like "EWWWW!" So I threw it away. Have not kept anything organic since, other than the first hair clipping.

  7. I kept Shortman's. But I have no idea where they are.

    Generally, our tooth fairy was pretty forgetful, but when she remembered, it was $1/tooth.

    Peyton will be like my brother (a happy drunk, I think) - he proposed to the hygienist during his wisdom tooth surgery.

  8. Several Thoughts:

    1. People who keep their kids' teeth are messed up.
    I think teeth are gross in general . . . people who want to be dentists are naturally depraved. Like podiatrists.

    2. I like the idea that she's a little girl who doesn't want to grow up and get big teeth. That's a very well-thought out advanced thought sort of theory and I'm impressed.

    3. I always thought of the tooth fairy as a normal sized person when I was a kid . . . kind of like the Cinderella fairy godmother. I thought she used the teeth to build her castle.

    4. Peyton is definitely a "I LOVE you guys!" kind of drunkard. Very respectable.

  9. I think Peyton will be the fun drunk.

    I'll probably keep the first couple of teeth my kids lose. But I'm also the person who used to have a jar of OTHER PEOPLE'S TEETH on my kitchen counter when I was in college and was a dental assistant, thinking I was going to go to dental hygiene school. When I decided against spending my life looking in people's dirty mouths, I tossed out the teeth. =)

    A buck per tooth? Wow, inflation is a killer.

  10. Geez...where can I get some of that versed?!? LOL! Peyton sounds like a funny little guy, and probably a happy drunk. ;0) I don't plan on keeping my kids' teeth. EEEEW! When they pulled my wisdom teeth, they asked me if I wanted to keep them. Um, HELL NO! I saw what they looked like, and about threw up! Back in the day when I was actually was visited by the tooth fairy, I think I got about 25 cents per tooth. Inflation IS a bitch!

  11. We didn't keep any of the boys teeth, but I do have my wisdom teeth. I don't know why I wanted them and why I still have them. We gave 1.00 a tooth. We never had a discussion about what the tooth fairy does with them. I agree with law student hot mama, that he'll be and I love you drunk or the one who never thinks he's as wasted as he really is.

  12. This is going to make me sound like the meanest mom ever but...I don't do "tooth fairy." You lose a tooth, you get a pat on the back and it goes in the trash. No cash. No toy. It's a tooth. The only imaginary thing I make my kids believe in is Santa and La Bafana (it's a Sicilian thing). I have a hard time with the Easter Bunny as well, but I am attempting to keep a straight face. I'm sure my kids will grow up scarred due to their lack of teeth-under-pillows but we'll all go to group therapy and be over it :) Well...maybe not...

  13. I am a Dork but I think that I will keep the first few for their baby book and then toss the rest.

    Yes, I love thinking that the Tooth Fairy is a little girl who doesn't want to grow up. How Cute!

  14. Oh he sound slike he will be the life of the party! Sounds like fun!
    Um why did they not offer you a cocktail as well. Or at least one to go?

  15. I would never save teeth... gross!

    Our tooth fairy gives $2 but she/he some time forgets to come and it can take a few days!!! I think he will be a fun drunk, that is the few times in his life that he ever gets drunk! lol =)

  16. I don't plan on keeping TJ's teeth. I also don't plan to say the Tooth Fairy leaves him cashola. I mean he knows about Santa, E.B. and T.F. but we don't make huge deals out of them...KWIM?? We tell him mommy and daddy give him presents at christmas, basket for easter and money for his teeth. Yeah we are party poopers and no fun. Oh well :)

  17. BTW-just a thought...after the kids fish their dough out from under the pillow they toss the tooth in the trash! Just had to re-read my comment & it made me look like a crazy tooth-horder, HA!


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