Monday, June 23, 2008

Boo Hiss

Ava has a habit. It's more potent than crack. No, I'm not talking about my boobs-although those are apparently highly addictive too. This trumps princesses, pink and chocolate. Serious stuff huh? So how-pray tell- did she get her hands on something so potent? Easy peasy. We gave it to her. Knowing full freaking well she would get hooked and need an intervention worthy
of A & E.

So currently I am in the planning phase. Examining the steps needed to break this vicious cycle-hopefully without bringing everyone in the love shack to their knees.

Gather information about local treatment options and find one.
So the yellow pages and google offered up nothing. Apparently this has to be a
grass roots movement.

Make a clear plan.
Everytime I set a plan in motion something happens. She gets sick or ends up
in the company of an enabler.

Confront the problem.
I have done this with her. She steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that she has an issue.

Be as firm and specific as possible.
I'm a huge sucker.

Show her the reality of the situation.
She is two. This is her reality.

Ask others to help.
This is where you come in.

Don't be afraid to say how you really feel.
Hmmm. How do I feel?

Get professional help.
Again, no specialists in this area of addiction.

Set consequences for the problem.
Obviously this has to happen. Which ones to use? Or do rewards work better?

Offer hope in solving the problem.
I'm hopeful that nobody has ever gone to college with this disorder. However,
there was a girl in my High School that as far as I know never kicked it.

I'm ready. To do battle with the will of a toddler. To destroy what has become second nature to her. Her "boo" is history. No more pacifying her with the pacifier.

30 comments:

  1. Have you tried the Paci Fairy story, where the PF gathers up her pacis for other, younger children, and leaves her a special toy?

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  2. Mags has the same addiction, and I am an enabler. J gets so p.o.ed at me. We were down to naps, bedtime, and car/stroller. But she has been such a crank after daycare I've been giving in. the 2 yr mark is supposed to be our cut off, we have 2 mos. I think we(meaning me) will probably have to clip the end off. The guys have some magic power and she just hands it to them.
    I love Intervention, it is meth in tv form.

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  3. Mary just went through this with Thomas. She may have some advice for you. Best of luck!

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  4. My first gave it up around 5 months cold turkey. My second wouldn't have anything to do with pacifiers, bottles, or anything artificial. I was the human pacifier. My third never would take one either but he has a wierd addiction to my hair.

    Good luck with the paci. I don't envy you!

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  5. Am just having this same problem ourselves. She was never that interested while she was still getting boobs, but since weaning she has become more attached.

    And she still spends alot of time with her hand down my top just holding my boobs. Hehe.

    I have no idea how I am going to manage it. I think I will just remove all dummies out of sight (like the fire) and cope with the fallout.

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  6. Thomas is almost 20 months. We gave up "B" in our house on Thursday. I had him put the one he was sucking on in the trash. I told him to "throw it away" and he looked at me like "you've got to be kidding!" But he did it. No tears. He has randomly asked for it since but I just tell him "B's all gone" and he says "Oh." He soothes himself with a blankie though and I'm not about to snatch that!
    All in all it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.
    Good Luck!

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  7. Let me know when you find a good way. Reyna is in love with her suckie! I don't think we will take it away though until she is around 2.

    Good Luck, Zoe.

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  8. Abby was 2 and 2 months. I think it was harder for me than it was for her! I cut them. She said, "Oh Momma, it is broken!" That was it she didn't want it anymore because it was broken! Good Luck. I do really think it was harder for me to give it up than it was for her!

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  9. No personal experience here, but everyone I've ever heard talk about it says that three is the magic number. If you can make it three days without then you break the habit for good.

    Good luck!

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  10. Annika was over 2 when we took it from her. I actually weaned her off of her bedtime nuk around 18 months or so. That wasn't too bad, just took it away and that was that. But, the naptime nuk was hard. I needed her to take naps because Bianca was a newborn. It was just easier to give it to her. We had a lot of meltdowns during the cold turkey phase of this because she was older and knew what she wanted. But, after a few days (maybe a week) it was a non-issue. I think the only way to go is cold turkey. It's hard for a few days, but does get better.

    I'm thinking of freeing B now, earlier so there isn't a problem. She's not that attached though. Only has it at sleeping times where Annika had it all the time. Maybe we can wean together! Start a support group for mommies of paci kids! SOunds like there are a lot of us!

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  11. We told Shortman he had to give his up before he went to Kindergarten. He went us one better. He gave it to my dad on his birthday.

    "Here Grampa. Happy Birthday." It was February. Shortman was 4. He started Kindergarten that September (he was still 4).

    Sigh. So, no help there.

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  12. Oh, and witchypoo has a good point. I used a modified form of that. I told Annika that when Bennett came, that he would need all of her nukies. So when he came, I had her give him her nuk. She didn't necessarily understand it was for good, but it helped!

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  13. zoe - tucker has been binkie free for 7 days. we didn't give it to him one night before bed and he fell asleep without it - and that night i had dreams of how good life would be without that damn thing. so, the next night, he wanted it and i told him i had to wash it (we always said it was icky so he would want us to wash it) and i took the scissors and cut the end off. i gave it to him and asked him if it was broken. he took it out and agreed that it was, we had a little conversation about it and that was it. he's asked about it at various times, but i just say they are gone and then he's done asking. it is SO MUCH EASIER than i thought it would be. i was a total enabler. i had to cut the end off because i didn't think he would grasp the whole 'binkie fairy' thing yet. he has his blankie and i'll never take that away. so we're good to go.

    don't be scared my friend. :)

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  14. weeeel ... don't hate me ... but I lucked out because Grayson NEVER took a pacifier. So we never had to get rid of it.

    BUT! Other mothers I know sort of weaned their children off it gently. First it was only for sleeping time. Then it was only for NIGHT time. Then ... the paci fairy came and took the pacis to give to babies. And you aren't a baby anymore, are you? blah blah blah.

    I "think" I read that it isn't really a problem that they still have the paci until age 3. BUT it IS easier to get rid of it sooner than later.

    I realize I have been NO HELP. Good luck.

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  15. I tried to get Max to take it, but he never would, so I never even tried with Jessamine. I know Lotus had to deal with this recently though.

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  16. Just take it. Or read my story. It is in Feb I think....

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  17. My son never took a pacifier but I had to finally take his bedtime bottle cold turkey. He screamed for a night or two then nothing...

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  18. Similar to witchypoo, my mom told me that "Nukkie was going to see Santa Claus to tell him what you want for Christmas." And I bought it! I only mentioned Nukkie once more and apparently said, "I wonder if Nukkie found Santa Claus yet." But then I never asked for it again.

    That I offer as proof I'm an idiot.

    My son won't use a paci which is unfortunate as he views me as a human paci instead.

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  19. Yes, we used a pacifier for my daughter... but we were lucky. She kicked the habit just after she turned two. She really only used it for bed... one day, we told her we couldn't find it... and that was the end of it. I know... most people aren't that lucky.

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  20. I think Bradley was 2-3 but the pacifier fairy was going to make a visit and we needed to put his pacifier out the night before and than the fairy would come while he was sleeping and take them but he would leave a present he really wanted. We pitched them all that night and he pitched a fight the next night but we never looked back.

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  21. I'm no help, I offered both boys this "drug" and neither of them took to it. Good luck though, I'm sure you'll need it ;)

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  22. You will have to keep us updated. Owen has one and I am not looking forward to the day when I have to take it away!

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  23. Wynnie had a paci until she was 6 months and then decided she'd rather have her thumb. Now that her teeth are TOTALLY messed up by her thumb, I wish she'd have stuck with the dental friendly paci. Mack refused all paci and instead sucks 2 fingers. We're saving for our kids' braces. Currently, I've been telling Wynnie (will be 5 in October) that Santa doesn't give presents to kids who suck their thumbs. She doesn't buy it.

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  24. Wish I could help. I got both of mine off at 3 months old...way to early for them to really complain about it!
    Hope you can solve the problem soon. Good luck!

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  25. My kids wouldn't take Paci's at all, even though I wanted them to. I think because when I was trying to nurse them, they got nothing. They weren't into the idea of sucking on something for no food, so pacifiers were a non issue for us. My SIL had a huge struggle getting rid of the Paci with her DD. She finally cut the ends off them, and told her DD they were all "broken."

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  26. Oh, gawd! When you figure this out, let me know! Hazel NEVER wanted a binky. She would spit it out and toss it across the room should you even attempt to quiet her with one. Luka, on the other hand, is a binky addict. Maybe we could start a support group for him and Ava. Ha! Before Bryan came home, he ONLY used it to go to sleep at night. Somewhere along the way, Bryan started taking it out of the crib with him in the morning. Now, the little bugger takes it with him EVERYWHERE. Help!

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  27. I like the "Paci-Fairy" idea.
    That's brilliant!!

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  28. My daughter had one until around 7 months when it "disappeared".

    Now I want her blankie to disappear - that thing stinks no matter how much we wash it.

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  29. No we didn't and now we have a thumb-sucking 3 year old. Short of cutting that thing off I don';t know how we'll get her to stop. Who ever say opposable digits were so great anyway?

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  30. My daughter NEVER stopped using it. I know, as a parent I should have been stronger but I couldn't take it away. She's now 18 and still uses a pacifier when she's in her room. And don't tell anyone it won't affect the teeth. Her's are way affected and it's obvious.

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