Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Longest Post about Nothing Ever

Yesterday was one of those days that just never stopped. I was up at 6 and out the door by 7:45. Dropped Cade at school and headed to my ritualistic Tuesday morning counseling session. Spent an hour working on my self esteem issues. Left feeling as if I had been hit by a truck. Returned home and took one look at Peyton's shaggy hair and thought "damn". His spring concert was that evening and he looked like an urchin. Plus we was to wear "spring clothes" and the kid grew a foot over the winter...leaving him basically with nothing.

I picked Cade up at 11 with Peyton, Ava and dear hubby in tow and headed to our illustrious mall. Our mall doesn't even have a food court if that tells you anything. Peyton is OBSESSED with Tom Morrello from Rage Against the Machine. Tom happens to be bald. I think this may have something to do with the fact that he is in his 40's but Peyton is sure it is a fashion statement. After much debate I agreed to let him have it cut down to the scalp. It was a darn good thing too...because she found a huge blood sucking tick embedded in his little egg head. After I nearly died from humiliation I came around enough to worry about Lyme disease. I quickly called the health dept and they said as long as his little friend was alive we could drop him by and have him tested. I will NEVER put my kids to bed after ball practice without checking their craniums for critters again.

Cade also got a new do. The mohawk he has been wanted for a year. First I had her cut it into a fau hawk. He was not pleased at all. So I figured what the hell. I let one kid shave it bald I may as well let him have his beloved hawk. It actually turned out pretty cute. I wish I would have taken before and during photos-but I'm a slacker and I was having PTSD from the whole blood filled microorganism thing.

Not a great pic but Cade with his "hawk"

Peyton now bald, with tick removed.


Then it was on a mission to find an outfit for Peyton's evening festivities. I picked out the cutest shorts and top and thought I was done. However, the shorts had a faint pink line in them. Peyton announced at the top of his lungs that he was "not wearing pink ever" and whined that I was trying to "make him a girl". I sent him out to wait with Mark and picked a more manly orange top and some plaid shorts. I was rather proud that I managed to escape the evil clutches of the Gap with no purchases for Her Majesty. Will wonders never cease???

Next we had the misfortune of eating at Applebee's. It literally is the only place to dine in the mall unless you want pretzels. It is always horrible and I have no clue why we continue to put ourselves at risk for food poisoning. The kids behaved about equal to the service we had. Lovely meal. Wonderful company.

Finally, I made the mistake of dropping into one of the shoe stores in search of sandals for the boys. I found some really cute Nike's marked $9.99 in each of their sizes. When I had Mark bring them into try them on only Cade like them. To make a long story short we headed to the cashier with a pair of sandals for Cade and some Crocs for Ava. This particular store only keeps 1 shoe in a box and they have to go to the back and get a mate. No big deal right? Well 20 minutes later she brings us a mate for Cade, same size, same type of shoe, but different style. WTF. 10 minutes later I find the mate and they ring up at $19.99. They could have been $50 at this point and I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted the hell out of there. Peyton decided he wanted Skeechers Airators so we headed to JCPenney's. Quickly found them and thought we were on our way when we realized Ava was carrying a purse full of hair goodies from the shoe store. We walked them back and the lovely sales girl had no clue.

Finally we took Peyton's little blood sucking friend to the health department for eval. They assured Mark it was a dog tick but sent it off for testing. Peyton spent the rest of the evening telling people he had a dog "dick" in his hair. Nice.

We somehow managed to get everyone out the door and to the concert not only on time but CLEAN. I know I was stunned too! The moment we sat down Amonte asked for money for a drink and then disappeared and never came back. The concert was fun and the kids all did a great job.

Cade and his friend trying to scare me.

Ava when she saw her brother on the stage.
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Peyton posing after a great success.

Ava busted for throwing rocks.

As we were leaving Amonte showed up. Apparently he had decided to go time for the track team. Peyton was not amused at all by this. His feelings were quiet hurt. I was totally pissed but Amonte cares less what I think or feel. I do believe he felt bad for wounding his brother. Peyton is still making him pay for it today.

We finished up the evening at The Dairy Queen which was a total mad house. There were several ball teams there and lots of families from the concert. We got the kids their goodies and let them eat them in the back of the truck. Ava made a complete mess and managed to look adorable while doing so.


Needless to say everyone was wiped out and went to bed with no major drama. Yet another miracle. I'm not worthy.

18 comments:

  1. Awesome post!!
    I was actually laughing out loud a couple times. Glad to see you're Blogging more also.

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  2. I'm loivn the new do's! Peyton has the perfect head for the close shave. Cade's hawk fits him too. Sweet lil Ava and the ice cream. She is too freaking cute.
    I don't know if I could do the whole counseling thing. I could probably use it. The one time I went, I didn't say a thing and cried the whole time.

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  3. The picture of Ava busted after throwing rocks totally cracked me up. It was a good read!

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  4. Dog dick in his hair! LMAO. I'll be giggling about that for a while.

    Exhausting day, but hair cuts that'll last a while & tired kids. That's a good thing.

    ha ha ha... dog dick in his hair!

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  5. And seriously, how is it you can make an exhausting day sound FUN?

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  6. That post was a riot! Peyton's beautiful hair! Like you said though...good thing due to that dang dog tick!
    Sounds like it was a successful family event @ the good old J-town mall :)

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  7. "Peyton spent the rest of the evening telling people he had a dog "dick" in his hair. Nice."

    ahahahahha.

    What the hell though? Mr. Hot had one in his beard. I had one crawling up my hand the other day. I haven't seen ticks in YEARS and then two in two days???

    Oh, thanks, now I'm all itchy again.

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  8. that ice cream picture is fabulous. something that belongs in a big frame :)

    fun post. sounds like you lack no "entertainment" at any time.

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  9. You have convinced me to let my son get his hawk, too. He's been begging.

    Oh, and I totally cracked up for about 5min. from the "dog dick." Seriously, funny funny funny.

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  10. OMG the "dog dick" part cracked me up!

    This is usually when ticks start coming out and you find them EVERYWHERE. Even more so if you live in the country like we do!

    Tall grasses and the woods are off limits for TJ during the spring because of this. His aunties yard is nothing but tall grasses and woods, and they are constantly getting the little "dog dicks" :P on them!

    Last year I found one behind TJ's ear after he got up from a nap. The tick hadn't attached yet, but I about lost it. Good thing my best friend was here to deal with it for me.

    Cute hair cuts, and Ava is such a doll.

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  11. Nice to see pics of the kiddles. If you want to get good seats at the monster truck rally, just put a bandana on Peyton's head and tell him to look sad.

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  12. HOly crap I am dying over here. Dog "dick", the rock throwing, the little 5 finger discount? OMG! Too funny! Thanks for giving me a good laugh!

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  13. CRAP! I need a nap just from reading that all! Ticks! Yuck! I have had my fair share from Girl scout camp! No fun!
    You are braver than me! Nope not doing the mall thing with all my kids and hubby. You are lucky to get me in there with my mom!

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  14. holy hell girl - i kept thinking 'okay, was this all happening in one day?' cute pictures! love the haircuts!

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  15. Girl! You da woman! Ah yes, I remember the days when they were all little and I was frantic very well... Just let me say there is a cure for all of this. It just takes time and before you know it they are grown! Have fun while you can!

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  16. I'm wiped out just READING about your adventure. Whew, woman, you are a goddess!

    As for the tick ... glad that it's not the Lyme's disease carrying kind. Freaky.

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  17. Wow, what a day! I"m exhausted just reading about it. We have tick problems here too and I always worry about them. Glad this one wasn't carrying anything!

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  18. This is the second post today I've read about a tick infestation! I'm SO grossed out by ticks . . . eww . . . leaving their head in my body? EWWW!!!!

    Also, the 'hawk was totally awesome. I want to give my kid one.

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