Things that actually came out of my mouth tonight:
- DON'T stick that in your butt!
- WHO pee'd on this?
- WHY is there toothpaste all over the bathroom?
- WHY is there honey mustard all over the dog?
- WHO put my underwear in the toilet?
- WHY are there stickers all over your sisters back?
- FOR GOD SAKE keep your tongue to yourself.
- Spitting IS NOT a sport.
- YES you have to wear underwear to school.
- NO I did not fart.
- NO farting is not a sport.
- Hitting your brother but NOT calling him a name does NOT mean you are being nice.
- Giving you brother 1/2 of your eaten chicken nugget is NOT sharing.
- YES, I think Spongebob does wear underwear.
- WE DO NOT EAT OUT OF THE GARBAGE CAN.
forget the motrin. how about a glass of wine?
ReplyDeleteYeah, you need the good drugs.
ReplyDeleteWine is a good drug.
Who's house were you at? It sure as heck sounds like an everyday/anynight one @ mine!!
ReplyDeleteI love it..who needs to blog?? I can just send them to your site & tell them the pictures & names have been changes to protect the 'presumed-innocent'! HA!
Lina
omg! could i come and be a fly on the wall at your house. i'm sure it would be great entertainment!
ReplyDeleteby the way, i tagged you for a meme. sorry - gotta play by the rules. :)
Wow, is this what I have to look forward to with my boy? That's pretty entertaining though, I have to admit! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI am starting to think I should make a recording of the phrases that I repeat most often in my day - there will be the usual "Stop looking at your sister," I will count to 3," and "Leave your penis alone." Then there's the more infrequent, but said enough to merit recording:
ReplyDeleteDon't pee on your sister.
Get your hangs away from your sister's bottom.
Get your hands away from your bottom.
Could you please just stop talking?!
The dog is not a riding toy.
Hit me in the rear with the spatula one more time and I am taking it away.
I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids . . .
I tagged you for 7 random facts, sorry...
ReplyDeleteyeah, i'm with jenny on this one..........would love to be a fly on your wall!
ReplyDeleteHave you ever considered stand-up comedy? LOL! I'm sure your kids could keep you in material for years! My favorite conversation for the day... Luka was lying on the floor, naked, getting his diaper changed, and putting on clothes. Hazel sees Luka naked, and starts stomping towards him screaming, "Here comes the nutcracker!" Me: "What are you talking about?" Hazel: "I'm the nutcracker, Momma." Me: "What do you think a nutcracker is?" H: "Ummmm..." Me: "Where do you see nuts that need to be cracked?" (trying to figure out if she was referring to Luka's nuts, or something else). H: "No. I don't see any nuts." Apparently, it was just some huge coincidence that Hazel came screaming that towards Luka while his little family jewels were exposed. But, you never know with her...
ReplyDeleteOMG that is hysterical!
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not the only one who talks like that!
ReplyDeletehaha That is too Funny! It made me exhausted just reading it.
ReplyDelete