Thursday, January 8, 2009

It's all about me

Well after much debate I have decided to make a resolution this year after all. But I'm not calling it a resolution because that would guarantee my failure-it's more of a lifestyle change. This year I plan to make myself a priority...something I have not been very good at lately (or maybe ever). It's time to put my oxygen mask on first.

  1. Be more fashionable. So what if I can't run the 50 yard dash after a toddler in those hot heels. I'm wearing the bitches anyways.
  2. Take up gardening. I hear it's relaxing-my yard looks like crap and medical marijuana is legal in Michigan now.
  3. Have a regular date night. Notice I did not say with who.
  4. Be more spiritual. Stop using the lords name in connection with pirate talk.
  5. Paint my nails...with something other than markers and finger paint.
  6. Get my stuff organized. Toss all Mark's shit out so I have more room.
  7. Lose weight. Start saving money for liposuction.
  8. Karma repair. No more voodoo dolls.
  9. Eat better. Cupcakes. Not sheet cakes.
  10. Girls nights out. Perfect binge drinking skills.
  11. Daily reminder to self: Winter is not an excuse to be a yeti.
  12. Get in shape. Carry larger, heavier, handbag.
  13. Put the past behind me. Have my colon cleansed. This may also help with #6.
  14. Align my energy field. Have an MRI...wearing earrings.
  15. Be happy. Or heavily medicated.
There. That should make a wonderful, new, relaxed, fabulous me. What do you think?


  1. i love it zoe.
    i needed a laugh this morning!!

  2. Perfect! I think #2 is also a money making opportunity, no?

  3. Happy New Year Zoe!
    Hope you are successful :)

  4. love it...especially #1. i'll just have to practice carrying the baby seat and not falling down the stairs with heels on. may success be yours!

  5. I have mastered your #1. Even in snow. Impressed? I should turn it into a money making opportunity and offer lessons. LMFAO

  6. im loving your lifestyle changes!!! and with nuber #2 thing of all the money you can make with your garden!! haha

  7. That was hilarious!

    You definitely deserve to do those things for yourself. I know I should do the same, yet I feel guilty when I do. Sucks doesn't it? :)

  8. Great list here! Definitely need the girls night. Oh wait, Shit, I can't drink right now. Damnit!

  9. just the thought of a colon cleanse scares me.

  10. I need to start saving for my boob job.

  11. So you have the same goals I do! Love them!

  12. Once again...that is a rocking list! Many successes in '09 :)

  13. love your list. may steal a few for my list. haha! :)

  14. I definitely think getting rid of the voodoo dolls is a good resolution. What will you replace them with?


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