Friday, January 23, 2009

Someone call me a cab..

I think I have finally found my true calling in life. I have been contemplating a career change for a while now-but wasn't really sure what I wanted to do when I grew up. Then, while driving in my crushed goldfish covered minivan, listening to the same Rage Against the Machine song for the 20th consecutive time, expertly opening juice boxes with one hand while breaking up sibling violence with the other-it dawned on me. I was born to be a taxi driver. Not just any ole taxi driver-cause that would blow-but the one on that cool ass game show Cash Cab.

Seriously with my resume???

  • Take Amonte to career center-back to headquarters
  • Take Peyton to Dr
  • Take Peyton to lunch
  • Take Peyton to school-back to headquarters
  • Pick Amonte up from school (he's not ready & I should mention goes to school in a different district)-back to headquarters
  • Pick Peyton up from school-back to headquarters
  • Pick Amonte up from school again-back to headquarters
  • Take Amonte to drivers training-back to headquarters
  • Pick up Amonte from Drivers training-back to headquarters
And I do all of this movin' while being witty and throwin out some real brain benders! The only bitch is I can't dump them out on the street when they miss three in a row.
  • What did you do today?
  • What did you eat for snack?
  • Who did you sit with at lunch?
  • Why can't you leave your sister alone?
  • Have you lost your mind?
  • Do I look like I just fell off a Christmas tree?
Don't get me wrong. I think Ben is an awesome host-but I could bring something unique to the show. Discovery Channel beware. I'm sending a demo tape.


  1. Hilarious! I can't think of a better job for you, Zoe!!!

  2. You're a cab! (Well, you said someone call you a cab. snort. hey, I haven't had more than two sips of coffee this morning...)

  3. I am sure my mom felt like a cab also, with all the driving she had to do with me and my brothers!

  4. I was in New York last weekend and saw the Cash Cab guy perform at a comedy club... he was pretty funny!

  5. hehehe, do I look like I just fell off a Christmas tree...I'm stealing that one!

  6. The worst part is if you are like me it also includes putting someone in and out of a carseat each time.

  7. Nah, you don't want that job honestly. At least you your children you know where they sleep and can ruin their lives but other people? And they want it to be all about them.

  8. I like it. One question though- after reading this- expertly opening juice boxes with one hand while breaking up sibling violence with the other- which hand is on the wheel?

  9. LOL!! I have heard of the show...but I've never watched it!! That sounds like it would be an interesting job. MUCH BETTER than "Taxicab Confessions" too!! ;P

    A lot of people ask if I stopped Bridal Consulting because of shows like "Bridezilla"!! LMAO!! NO...but now that I've seen the show, I can see why they'd ask me that!! ;)

  10. Hahaha! And cabbies get TIPS.

    I'm always amazed that I can drive while bending myself into a pretzel to feed, sooth, pick up toys/blankies/etc and NEVER miss a beat.

    My husband will be riding in the passenger seat and be "unable" to reach around to grab the sippy cup that's just been tossed at my head. HEY... maybe I could drop HIM off on the street if he can't answer 3 questions:
    -where does the dirty laundry belong?
    -how many years has it been since you cleaned your bathroom?
    -how long were you going to ignore the stinky diaper and pretend you didn't notice it was full of poop?
    OOPS... sorry....GET OUT!

  11. I love Cash Cab. And I'm sure you'd make a fabulous driver. I say they should hire a female anyway... just to add some spice to the show.

  12. HaHa!!!!! You would be AWESOME! I have never watched the show but if you were on there I would.


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