Do not attempt to download this file. Your ass will look like swiss cheese. Your fortune cookie fortunes will be depressing and life will never be the same.
Yesterday Amonte and I drove to The University of Michigan in a blizzard to get the results of his biopsys'. We rode mostly in silence. Both nervous. I think we both knew to expect the worst. We both laughed when I said, "I know this is nothing. Everything will be negative. This is all gonna be from those fucking wrestling matts".
An hour later we weren't laughing. We received the worst of all the possible diagnosis. It is in fact Cutaneous or Metastatic Crohn's Disease. I felt like someone punched me in the gut. There are only a handful of cases. There is no real treatment or cure. The wounds he has may heal or may not. He may get more or may not. Lots of questions and no answers.
Amonte has been quiet. I know he is struggling. He has been lashing out at me. Which hurts. I feel helpless and hopeless-as I'm sure does he.
Friday we go back to The U to speak with the gastroenterologists again. We are hopeful they will be able to provide more information. Until then he continues with daily wound care. Pain meds. The unknown. The silence. The dread.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
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I wish I had something to say that would make things better but I don't so just know that I am thinking of both of you and sending you love and strength.
ReplyDeleteHugs for you both. Are you sure it can't be from the fucking wrestling mats? I suppose pretending it was doesn't help it get better. Here's wishing Amonte some damn good treatment now that you know what it is.
ReplyDeletePrepare for the worst, but EXPECT the best.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you an email because I'm so long winded. I really, really hope you and Amonte find the answers to help you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys.
ReplyDeleteAll the best.
ReplyDeleteSuck.
ReplyDeleteThat's the only word that comes to mind. Well, and maybe one that rhymes with that.
Hope you guys get some answers and direction on Friday. I know you'll keep us posted. And you know we'll keep praying...
I have no words, just hugs and kisses to my new friend, i am deeply sorry you have to walk this road.
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean when you hear the words.
I can only pray for healing, that the medicine-people of this lifetime have treatments for his physical body.
His emotional self, though, has gotten blasted. I pray that Amonte and Amonte's family are able to be strong, to let the weakness show, kindly, so that others can help.
With love to you and yours,
Kathy
Oh shit hun!
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) for both you and Amonte. If there is anything I can do (from the other side of the world) then let me know.
Zoe-
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the update & keeping us in the loop. Sending strength & Prayers your way!
Lina
While reading this I felt like I got punched in the gut... so I can not imagine how you must feel. My prayers are with you guys. Hugs to you both!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! I just want to do something for you. You're in my prayers.....
ReplyDeleteAw honey, I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteI am with everyone else - I wish I had the right words, or any words at all that could make things better. You, Amonte, and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers - you will get through this, and you will all be stronger because of it.
ReplyDeleteZoe,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your son is going through such a rough time. It must be incredibly difficult for him and you. I'll keep you all in my prayers and I hope they figure out how to treat him quickly and to reduce his pain. My oldest son is 17, so I can relate to what you were saying about "swooping in" and taking care of things, I tend to do that, too. It's hard, in your heart he will always be your baby, and us moms just want to make everything better. Hang in there and take care.
Lizzy
Well, now I feel like someone just punched me in the gut. I really was hoping that it was something more simple. The wrestling mats...whatever. Who would have thought it would be something so rare and painful? And, even worse, something that really doesn't have a lot of defined answers. Again, please let me know if you need anything, Zoe. I'm always here if you need to talk. Big hugs to both of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry. I hope they find a treatment plan that keeps him comfortable.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this is coming so late, but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. I hope he can just get comfortable and lead a somewhat normal life. Sounds like you have a rough road ahead but stay strong and I have no doubt that you will get through. Let me know if you need anything at all! I'm trying harder to be better at keeping in touch.
ReplyDeletei'm so sad...i also wanted it to be nothing bad & the stupid school's fault. i'm sooo sorry for you both... i know my dad had crohn's disease but it must've been totally different kind cause he didnt have that kind of problems. i wish there was a good treatment or cure...i will keep praying for ya'll. how is he doing now? any better? i hope things can get more tolerable... kisses to you both! =)
ReplyDelete