Pass the brie please

Ok, I'm going to whine. Really, really loud. Yesterday I got up and felt like total pond scum. I was audibly wheezy and so weak I had to sit down twice in the shower. I somehow managed to drag my sorry ass to work. I have missed a ton lately and aside from being totally broke I really don't want to get fired. They have been extra supportive but Wednesday my manager asked me if I needed to go to the Employee Assistance program. I was all like "no, I already have a counselor-she knows I'm crazy". Yikes.

So after the shuttle driver leaves me in the dust and I walk into Big Medicine I realize my freaking inhaler is EMPTY. I used the entire thing up in a week. Of course I call the pharmacy and my insurance company refuses to refill it because I have "abused it". Fucking excuse me for wanting to breathe.

Oh great. Their ripping up the nasty old carpet behind the nursing station on this day too. Nothing like the smell of old ass stinky carpet and tons of dust to really turn me into a wheeze bag. By mid afternoon my heart rate was in the 120's and I was really struggling. I called my primary who suggested admitting me to the hospital. Um yeah, that was not happening. So in compromise she sent me to the ER for eval.

Now I was in our illustrious ER about a week ago with Her Majesty (have to blog about that tragedy still) and it was not pretty. My mommy came out and watched the kids and my good friend Andrea drove me in. 6 breathing treatments, an IV bag of fluid and a bolus of steroids later I came home.

Today was back top the Dr. for a shot of steroids in the ass, lots of new medications and the agreement that my lungs are seriously fucked up. I'll be going to see the pulmonologist shortly. For the first time in my life I am really concerned about my health and the impact that this will have on me as I age. I have no intentions of aging gracefully. I intend to fight it kicking, screaming and with surgery. But I fear my lungs may have other plans. Carrying around an oxygen tank does not scream youth.