Friday, February 22, 2008

Pass the brie please

Ok, I'm going to whine. Really, really loud. Yesterday I got up and felt like total pond scum. I was audibly wheezy and so weak I had to sit down twice in the shower. I somehow managed to drag my sorry ass to work. I have missed a ton lately and aside from being totally broke I really don't want to get fired. They have been extra supportive but Wednesday my manager asked me if I needed to go to the Employee Assistance program. I was all like "no, I already have a counselor-she knows I'm crazy". Yikes.

So after the shuttle driver leaves me in the dust and I walk into Big Medicine I realize my freaking inhaler is EMPTY. I used the entire thing up in a week. Of course I call the pharmacy and my insurance company refuses to refill it because I have "abused it". Fucking excuse me for wanting to breathe.

Oh great. Their ripping up the nasty old carpet behind the nursing station on this day too. Nothing like the smell of old ass stinky carpet and tons of dust to really turn me into a wheeze bag. By mid afternoon my heart rate was in the 120's and I was really struggling. I called my primary who suggested admitting me to the hospital. Um yeah, that was not happening. So in compromise she sent me to the ER for eval.

Now I was in our illustrious ER about a week ago with Her Majesty (have to blog about that tragedy still) and it was not pretty. My mommy came out and watched the kids and my good friend Andrea drove me in. 6 breathing treatments, an IV bag of fluid and a bolus of steroids later I came home.

Today was back top the Dr. for a shot of steroids in the ass, lots of new medications and the agreement that my lungs are seriously fucked up. I'll be going to see the pulmonologist shortly. For the first time in my life I am really concerned about my health and the impact that this will have on me as I age. I have no intentions of aging gracefully. I intend to fight it kicking, screaming and with surgery. But I fear my lungs may have other plans. Carrying around an oxygen tank does not scream youth.

14 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you're going through this...I can't imagine how hard...and ...scary it must be...I hope you're at least breathing better soon...maybe look at a nursing job not in a hospital? pay sucks, I know... I'll be thinking about you...

    ReplyDelete
  2. If it weren't for bad luck...
    Here's hoping that a corner was turned at the total eclipse of the moon. I hate it when things get so bad all you can do is laugh. And it's a scary laugh. At least when I do it, it is. It's kind of like looking the bad luck fairy in the eye and cackling, you ain't got me yet, bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gosh Zoe...when it rains it pours huh?? Hope things get better for you from now on!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ack, I have asthma too. Luckily I don't need insurance to get my prescriptions filled. Love this country.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I cannot imagine they denied you an inhaler??? WTF! Your primary got that fixed I hope?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. oh man! so sorry that you are so sick! get well vibes are coming at you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. honey i hope you get to breathe better! That's one of the scariest feelings.
    I once rushed myself to the ER thinking i had once again collapsed my lungs (i have 4 times before).. only to be told by the insurance company later that the visit was not an emergency ! WHAT??? i'd like to see them sit back calmly when they can't breathe and so ... oh this isn't an emergency.

    ReplyDelete
  8. zoe! dang! i just wanna come take care of you! keep us updated on the lungs. they're kinda important. take care. my blog

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poor thing. Mr. Hot is an asthmatic and has had a terrible time with the cold air this winter. I've finally convinced him to go see the doctor this week.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I didn't know you could abuse and inhaler. I hope you get better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. you can whine any day, but you better take care of yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm sorry Zoe. Really. That just plain sucks. But, you KNOW I know how you feel. So, I'm ALWAYS here to talk. That is, if you're able to catch your breath long enough. ;0) Big hugs, and I hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Zoe! That sounds terrible. I sure hope you are feeling better. Do they have any clue as to what's going on?

    ReplyDelete
  14. hope your feeling better zoe! that totally sucks... i can understand the insurance thing since i dont have any & have to pay full cost for mine. and yea asthma sucks...i've had it since i was 2...so i guess i've been old for a long time since i have to carry a portable nebulizer everywhere lol. hang in there girl! xxo

    ReplyDelete

Play nice in the sand box or I'll smack you in the face with a shovel.

 
Designed by Lena