Just in case ya all thought Amonte was the only one keeping me busy, I thought I would set the record straight. Saturday before last we were enjoying a leisurely afternoon (recovering from the prior evenings total and complete melt down). The boys in their underwear, me and Ava in PJ's had just settled in for a long afternoon of movies. I headed to the kitchen to fix some snacks. Cade follows just seconds behind SCREAMING that his nose hurts. I rubbed it. I kissed it. No better. He then announces there is a "bean" in it, although he staunchly denies putting anything up there. I look. Nothing. So we blow. And blow some more. MMMM. Green snot. "There ya go Cade! There is your green snot bean! Yahoo!". To this he replies that his bean is in fact pink. Pink??? I only got green here dude. After much questioning he admits to shoving a pink bead up his right nostril.
Further exam under bright light reveals bead. Wonderful. I make fun of kids who do this shit. Now it's my kid, karma is a bitch. I grab the tweezers and of course he goes nuts. As does Ava who tries to rip them from my hands as I put them up his nose. Norm also goes ape shit and tries to attack me. After 3 failed attempts I called my Mom. Praying she would come sit with the others while I drug Cade to the walk in. Poor Mom, she obliged.
We sat at the clinic for over in hour. Cade slyly trying to dig in his nose. What Dr. should be working? Yes, that's right. One that I see on a frequent basis at Big Medicine. And here I am. Unshowered. My kid in his slippers with a pink bead up his nose. Not even a manly bead. A pink one. Lovely child laid perfectly still for removal. Discharge instructions read "Maintain safe environment to prevent reoccurrence". Yes, that's me. Negligent mom.
Upon return home Mom had folded baskets of laundry. She even tackled the daunting task of mating socks. While putting the clothes away I noted that she had placed Ava's swimsuit bottoms and diaper covers with my panties. I'm not sure if I should be flattered...or if my Mom is truly losing it. Either way, it felt good.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Up your nose with craft supplies
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I am dreading the day Amy realises that something other than her finger will fit in her nose.
ReplyDeleteGlad he was okay.
Oh my gosh! That is one to hold over his head until you need blackmail material :) Just think...if it WAS a bean & not a bead, you could have saved the co-pay & waited until it germinated & pulled it out. Eeeew!
ReplyDeleteLina
I am sorry you had to go through this, but from my stand point- this is funny! You can childproof all you want- they are still gonna find some strange thing somewhere. I'm amazed!
ReplyDeleteNew here- nice to meet ya, you have a great family!
Oh my gosh. I think that this happens more often than we hear about. Isn't it usually raisins??!!! :) I hope that everytyhing worked out.
ReplyDeleteLet's do that drink soon. :)
man. you make even shitty stuff sound hilarious!
ReplyDeletexx
jill
You crack me up! The pink bean was tough, but your Mom putting ava's stuff with yours----funny!! I could see my mom doing the same thing!!! You are so good at finding humor in everything! Still sending well wishes to Amonte!
ReplyDeleteOK, that was funny (thought I know it wasn't FUNNY to you at the time...) I am glad it is OK now.
ReplyDeleteand the folding panties/kids swimsuit bottoms..I would be flattered!!!
My Zoe was 2.5 when she decided to pull a similar stunt. Except she had stuffed SIX OF THEM up her nose. And like you, I thought she was calling them beans.
ReplyDeleteI got out four of them but ended up in the emergency room for the other two. One (a pink one, coincidentally) was so far up you couldn't see it anymore and it scared the crap out of me.
It took four grown adults to hold the child down so they could get that bead out. And every time we pass that hospital she still says "that's where I got the bead out of my nose."
HaHa! I did the same thing when I was little. Although, it was a brown bean from one of my games "Who Spilled the Beans". I told my mom about the bean while we were in the car heading to my grandmas house and she freaked out. So I said "It's okay mom, I can get it out..." I then went to blow my nose but breathed in instead and got it stuck even further up my nose than it had been. So, instead of going to grandmas, we ended up going to the E.R.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I think it's more common than you realize. When I was 4 I inhaled a pussywillow. It went all the way up into my sinus cavity. My mom took me to the doctor's and he used tweezers and reached up, and out it came. Yuck! BTW, you have a good mommy!
ReplyDeleteI too used to make fun of the parents who had to drag their children to the ER because a foreign object had been shoved up their nose . . . though it was more fun to make fun of the doctors who couldn't quite reach said object with tweezers, and instead would rig-up extraction devices using suction and Dermabond. Having watched Cooper ponder shoving small things in his nose and ears, I am now sufficiently terrified that I will be one of those moms.
ReplyDeleteJust when one is keeping you far too busy, the others step-up to get their piece of the pie!
I bet Amonte is grateful that the entire internet is not focused on his backside right now ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved this story!
And you!
Oh honey! That's too funny, but I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Damned kids ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe worst part had to have been the discharge instructions. Mah Gawd. Obviously you have to lock up the kid, not the beads! Snort.
Your blog is always such a trip. I love it!! ;P
ReplyDeleteCan your mom come over and match up all of our socks? I only have a whole laundry basket full. I HATE matching socks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was trying to find his feminine side with the pink bead. Though I bet it was a dare.
Are you freakin kidding me?!?! It never ends for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you can find humor in every situation :)
Kids and their noses.......who knew they could be such trouble!
Wynnie was about 18 months when she stuffed 2 beans from a bean game into her nose. Since she didn't have words to express what was happening, I was only made aware when she kept trying to blow her nose. We tried to get them out (actually thought there was only one at the time) with tweezers, but ended up at the ER. They were able to extract them both. Cost $375. Insurance only covers half of "Foreign Body Removal". It was my karma really...since when I was about 4, I got hauled into the dr twice: once for peanut removal, once for sunflower seed removal. My mom giggled herself silly when I called her on the way home from the ER to tell her about Wynnie's escapades.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that whole post just made me wince! Well, except for the panty part. ;0) I dread that my children will wind up in the same situation one day. Kudos to you for trying to get the bead out yourself. I couldn't stomach that. It would just freak me out.
ReplyDeleteI hate to say it, but that's awesome! What kid doesn't do that? I'm hoping I don't experience it, but I'm sure I will!
ReplyDeleteoh lord - i know my day of 'crap up the nose' is coming! your mom sounds like a hoot. :)
ReplyDelete