Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Back Off

If you CHOOSE to not participate in making decisions that affect you and your family then you may not under any circumstances criticize, blame, belittle or judge the decision maker or the outcome of any said decision. Enough said.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Cold Blooded Killer

Norm has usually been pottied and put to bed by the time Mark gets home from work. However Saturday I got home from work late which meant Norm received his meal way past his usual time. So Mark was left to put him out before bed. Not really that much of a chore.

Sunday morning Peyton put him out and I headed to church. When I returned home Norm was napping in his crate. I noticed an odor and thought that I had better wash his blankets...after I took my nap with Ava.

Later in the afternoon Peyton came SCREAMING into the kitchen "Norm has a rabbit!!! I looked out to see Norm happily carrying the upper portion of a cuddly bunny around the back yard. Gleefully throwing it into the air and catching it, then shaking it wildly. I hollered at him to drop it and he completely ignored me. I do NOT do carcasses. Especially those of cute, fuzzy critters. Luckily my neighbor was home and he quickly came over to take care of it for me. Aside from some tears from Ava and Cade I thought the carnage was over.

While I was getting Ava ready for bed it dawned on me...or should I say the smell reminded me...that I still needed to wash the rabbit killers blankets. So I went to his crate and got on my knees. I reached into his den, grabbed a blanket and pulled it out. Like a scene from Fatal Attraction intestines from a petite lapin fell in to my lap. I jumped up screaming like a B movie queen and scared Her Majesty's half to death.

I managed to beg Amonte to put the remains and blankets into the trash. I was left to clean the crate. Complete with blood, bunny hair and a tooth. Needless to say I did not sleep well last night.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ticketmaster Sucks

So much for seeing His Holiness. For some reason there was an issue with Ticketmaster and now all of the seats are sold out. Well, that is a lie-they do have some $1000 donor seats. Do you think anyone might be selling them outside??? I Wonder if Mom will babysit anyway.....

TFT: An Affair to Remember

There is a special man that has been in my life for 12 years. He was there the day I graduated from nursing school. I was with him hours before my wedding. He has loved me from skinny to fat. He never tells me no. He always makes time for me. He listens to my thoughts, my dreams and my fears. He makes me laugh-loud. He can make me blush like a school girl. He makes me feel beautiful and confident.

I am ashamed to admit it-but I have cheated on him. More than once. I have never been happy about it. There is nobody better. But at times I have been desperate and in need of a quick fix. He knows about some of these affairs. He has never said a word. He never makes me feel small or judged. He takes me back with open arms. My recent indiscretion is too obvious and bold to let slide though. I found someone else when he was too sick to care for me. Not only that, but this person is his friend. However, his substitute did not exceed my expectations and now I need him more than ever.

How on earth do I tell my hairdresser I have been unfaithful to him again???? And get him to fix my hair....

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Power of Negative Thinking

I'm sure all of you have been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear about our mini spring break get away:

As you know this has been a very difficult winter for my family. Even though we certainly could not financially afford to do anything magical for break-I felt as if we all deserved a little break and hoped it would lift our spirits.

Thursday am started with a quick trip to the beauty shop to make me a little more presentable. After the Marilyn Manson do was tamed we set off to The Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky Ohio-about a 2 1/2 hour road trip.

As most of you know traveling with small children can be challenging, infuriating and disappointing. I have found that expecting the worst makes it much more bearable. I am less irritated when Peyton barfs in the car-I knew it was coming. I don't want to plug my ears and scream at the 100th "are we almost there". I accept the fact that they will whine and complain despite the effort and expense we have put forth. Then when they actually enjoy themselves or god forbid behave it's like a little gift. Putting away the unrealistic expectations of the "perfect family vacation" allows the mayhem to be...dare I say...enjoyable?

After the usual fighting, potty stops, snack spills, vomiting and temperature complaints Ava and Cade fell asleep and stayed that way for the last hour on the road. They woke when we pulled into the lodge and they were all oozing with excitement.

Since the whole draw of the lodge is the water park we quickly headed that way. The boys were amazed (as was Mark). However, Her Majesty was less then impressed. In the center of the park is a giant bucket. As the water level in the bucket reaches the top a bell begins to ring. Then gallons of water pour down on to the waiting crowd. This is followed by a heavy mist that blasts the surrounding area. She was totally freaked out. We spent the entire day with her clinging to me like a baby monkey while I downed Pina Coladas. After dinner I did not even attempt to take her back. Mark and the boys went and stayed till close.

Suggestion of entering the water!

The bell is ringing!

The water's dumping!

The mist is blowing!

We spent the whole next day at the water park. After several hours and much pleading I managed to convince Ava to get in the hot tub. That seemed to make her a little more willing to explore. I was then able to get her into the kiddie area to at least splash a bit. She staunchly refused to go down even the tiniest slide. So again I spent most of the day people watching, drinking Pina Coladas and calming her when the bell would start ringing.

The boys were crazy little fish that I hardly saw either day. They went down every slide, had the bucket dumped on them to many times to count and found girlfriends. Huh. Come to think of it I hardly saw Mark either...maybe he had a bikini babe too.

Best Buddies!!!

That evening we went to the clock tower to watch a "bedtime show". The boys were a little bored but Ava really got into it. She put on just as much of a performance as the figurines did. She was dancing and singing up a storm. At bedtime Cade told me it "was the best day ever" and Peyton thanked us for bringing them! SHOCKER!

We headed out early Saturday since Mark had to work. They each picked out something special. Peyton choose a shirt and Cade and Ava grabbed up stuffed wolves. Ava's has been dubbed Willow and it is her constant companion. Too bad the damn thing is-or I should say was-white.

Amonte elected to stay home which I had mixed feelings about. He would not have been able to swim and I think he would have been bored to death. But I missed him and spent the whole time worrying about him. I'm sure I called too often for his liking. I was impressed that when we got home the house was still standing and he had taken care of the dog. I think he really enjoyed having a break from the kids.

We are now suffering the financial consequences of our excursion. But you know what? It was worth it. We all had a good time and my kids exceeded my more realistic expectations. I look forward to our next great adventure.

His Holiness

I am so excited I can hardly stand it! On Saturday, Amonte and I are going to Ann Arbor to hear the Dalai Lama speak. We are attending two-two hour sessions on "Engaging Wisdom and Compassion". Big thanks to mom for watching the terrorists so Amonte and I can become more enlightened!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Jose Eber 911

Note to self:

Just because your best friend's sister is a stylist in an upscale salon does not mean that you should allow your bff (who is a therapist) to color your hair. Well, at least the gray is covered.

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