Holiday Inn Horrors

Peyton was invited to a classmates birthday party at the Holiday Inn this evening. His mother had very generously allowed Cade to come and participate also and all the parents were invited to stay. This was a bit awkward for me as I knew no one and since the great weight gain of the 21st century I am self conscious and anxious around people I don't know. This causes me to either talk way too much or not at all...coming across as a total bitch. Anyway, everyone was nice enough and the actual party itself was pleasant. The Holiday Inn itself is in pretty pathetic shape and in my humble germ a phobe opinion the pool should be condemned by the health department. After spending four "entertaining" hours there I would like to Share some advice, criticism...what ever you'd like to consider it:

• If you leave a troop of children unattended at the pool, especially those unable to swim or simply to young to be left unattended, they will be "parented" by other parents. Even though we would prefer to simply enjoy our own children we don't care to watch yours drown.
• If said unattended children do a cannon ball onto my youngest sons head they will be spoken to firmly and if I could find the offenders parent so would they.
• A bra and panties is NOT acceptable swimwear for a pubescent girl. Especially one whose name happens to be Modesty.
• Please do not allow your young boys to swim in boxer shorts that are to big. the water only stretches the...it's not pretty.
• Thirteen year old boys should not have tattoos...much less four jailhouse style done in Ole E lettering.
• Six year olds do not make good babysitters for 8 month olds and should never be left to push them in a swing unsupervised. Ugly things happen.
• Poooter is not a nickname that should be bestowed on anyone.
• Preteen/Teenage girls should not be in the parking lot of said establishment (which happens to be along the highway) in string bikinis doing cheers.
• As a manager: if customers complain about rowdy, unattended children hurdling themselves into the pool and hanging off the balcony you may want to get of your fat ass and investigate. BTW we live in a letigious society and when said child falls from the balcony to his death the parent will surely show their face and proceed quickly with a lawsuit.

There. I think thats it. But what was truly sad about the evening was that the other guests were regarding these children in total disgust. When in fact they were acting just as you would expect a group of children to act with no supervision and apparently no history of parenting. It is not the children we should be looking at, but the parents (using that term loosely).