Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's official...he is NOT gay

Amonte really has had no interest in girls. He says he doesn't want to deal with the "drama". I think it's more of a self esteem issue. But then I started wondering...what if...HE'S GAY?

I would be ok with that. I mean I'm a liberal, I have lots of gay friends, it would be ok. Hopefully he would date a REALLY flamboyant gay man who liked to shop and he would be the perfect daughter in law. We could decorate their new house while Amonte sat on the couch grunting and playing PS2. When they adopt we would shop furiously for baby clothes and I would convince them to name their baby girl Roxy or Lola.

But then I got to thinking about the Internet porn he had been caught with. Thoughts of homosexuality lost. So I asked him flat out.."Are you gay?". Needless to say he did not find this funny...funny cause I wasn't trying to be funny. I was trying to keep an open dialogue..you know like they say you should do with teens. WTF? Teens don't want an open dialogue they want you to leave them the fuck alone and let them soak in all the porn the Internet has to offer.

Ok, I'm way off track now. Anyway, as I was trying to plan my life I asked him if he was going to homecoming on Friday...cause I really want to go to this scrapbook thing with the CLM and I need to know...NOW! He mumbled something about having to get a guest pass. A guest pass??? My heart skipped a beat. "For a girl?" I asked. He shot me a look that left a third degree burn right between my eyes (bye bye unibrow). "Who is she?" No answer....eventually mumbles something unintelligible and walks away. " Hey I need to know if your going with a GIRL because then you have to get her flowers and you are going to need something new to wear." No answer.

I'm pretty sure he is going with a girl. I'm pretty sure he is not gay. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to cart his ass to homecoming and skip scraping...which I'm pretty sure I will be bummed about. I'm pretty sure I will miss his future man-wife. I'm pretty sure that I'm relieved too.


  1. Oh my gosh, you crack me up! Great post, I even had my husband come read it...he thought it was great, too!

  2. Leave that poor kid alone.... just kidding!!!

  3. Zoe, You are so crazy!! You were born to blog!!! Hope you (and Amonte + date) have a great time friday night! We will miss you there!

  4. I so agree!! You were definately born to blog! Hope Homecoming goes good!


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