The saga of Norm

Norm arrived in our neighborhood several months ago. The kids fell in love with him and begged to keep him. We went through all proper procedures and no one claimed him. It was obvious that someone had spent some time training him as he knew basic commands and was housebroken. I told the kids he could stay until we found him another home as I was not truly convinced that he was what we needed in our life. Well the verdict is in. Norm stays. He stays even though:

• He ate an entire lobster (a stuffed one, I mean come on I can't even afford lobster for me!) and ended up with an intestinal blockage that cost me 100's of dollars.
• He has dug wholes in our back yard that could have been made with the use of explosives.
• He has eaten 2 pairs of crocs, 2 pairs of flipflops, a pair of sandals and a variety of toys and books.
• He eats his own feces. He eats out of the cat litter box.
• He is rather gaseous.
• When he got neutered he came home with a cone on his head and was the shame of the neighborhood. This may qualify as animal cruelty...I'm not really sure: but the boys LOVED to put treats in the cone so that he could smell them but not actually get to them. It was damn funny.
• He has urinated in my bed twice when it was shark week.
• He barks nonstop.
• He knocks down her majesty.
• He tortures my cats.

With all this though, he stays. My children adore him. Last night when I woke at 3 am and laid sobbing on the living room floor he curled up next to me (I had tried to make my cat lay with me but the bitch ran off). Now I adore Norm too.