Friday, November 2, 2007

Troubles in Toilet Land

It’s official. All of the boys have now landed themselves in a significant amount of toilet trouble. No I am not speaking of constipation…although we have been there too. I’m not referring to a little bit of splashing. I will even overlook the incidents of throwing a siblings toothbrush into the bowl in anger. I am talking about full blown toilet tragedies.

Amonte: being the oldest of course he was the first. He flushed a set of car keys down the toilet. I heard the words “bye-bye” accompanied by the woosh of the toilet. I had no clue what had went down, but I knew it wasn’t good. Luckily we lived in an apartment complex where they could take care of such…well…complex things. It involved a full day of maintenance men and having the toilet removed from the floor and replaced. Not to mention having to use the bathroom at the apartment club house and a serious bleaching of my keys.

Peyton: was about 20 months old and I went to the store foolishly leaving him with his father. Mark fell asleep with Cade. I walked into the house and saw something brown all over the kitchen floor and the fridge. I stepped in water. Lots of water. I heard running water. Peyton was naked. He had pooped. He took his diaper off and flushed it down the toilet. I woke Mark up and went to the coffee house. Teach him to sleep on his watch.

Cade: had his adventure on Halloween afternoon. I put Ava down for her nap and my loving husband told me “take a nap with her…Cade is nearly asleep watching a movie”. I though “oh hell yes!!!”. 45 minutes later my walnut bladder was screaming so I staggered into the bathroom…lights off. Cold, water covered my socks. I flipped on the light. The potty contains a full roll of toilet paper and numerous panty liners. I had to put on gloves and scoop the dissolving tissue into the garbage. Yum-O.

Me: What the hell happened in here?
Cade: Me don’t know.
Me: Really? You have no clue why the toilet is stuffed and overflowing?
Cade: Ummm. Amonte came home and took a poop and then left out the front door. He didn’t even wash his hands!!!
Me: Well that is interesting because Amonte is still in school.
Cade: Ummm. Me think it was Ava then.
Me: Ah, she is taking a nap.
Cade: Norm?
Me: In his crate.
Cade: *Sigh* Me did it.

Ya think??? What's the fascination here? Help a sister out!


  1. Oh, girl...we just had our first potty mishap a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately, Hazel really isn't interested in the potty. Not at all. (Let's hope the same for Luka.) But, one day, Hazel sat on the potty to poop. I was on the phone with some exterminator all the way back in North Carolina that is contracted to inspect my house yearly for termites. All of a sudden, I hear this blood-curdling scream coming from the bathroom. I quickly hang-up with Mr. Exterminator, and make my way to the bathroom. Hazel is just standing there, screaming her head off, water gushing from the toilet. Apparently, she had pooped, and tried to flush a little too much tp down. My parents have those stupid low-flow toilets that barely flush a turd, let alone the needed toilet paper. There was water EVERYWHERE because she KEPT flushing when it wouldn't go down the first time. Of course this had to happen at my completely intolerant mother's house. This is the kind of thing that would have gotten the crap beat out of me when I was Hazel's age. All I could do was give her a hug, and clean up the yuck!

  2. oh it or should i say **it happens all too often here. we have those water saving toilets too and they stink!!! you have to flush 3 times practically so i don't know how they can really be "saving" h20!

  3. OMG....I dread the day this happens. When I was little, I flushed my pacifier down and said bye-bye. That is how my parents broke me of it. Appanrently, that was the only one they had for me!!! ummmhmmm.

    What did you do? Did you guys have damage?

  4. I wish I could give some advise. Kaleb has the facination with the toilets too. In the past few weekd he has flushed, 2 scrunchies, 3 army men, plastic fish (that was funny, he said he was setting them free) took his passy out flushed then to proceeded to say rhylee did it and it was her pass that went bye bye.

  5. hi zoe!!

    i'm jill.
    and got your name for holly's Christmas exchange!!

    she just sent me your blog link.
    you are so funny.

    and i'm also in michigan!!

    i'm having fun adding things to your package already! :)


  6. I accidentally flushed a nightlight down the toilet. When I was 16.

    My children have made countless offerings to the porcelain god - Cooper pulled a Leslie this morning and bid his very last pacifier goodbye. I am taking it and running, as he is now one of those kids that I hated before I was a parent - talking around the binkie and throwing a tantrum for it when he doesn't have it.

    I would kill to be a fly on the wall at your house!

  7. OMG! My favorite is Peyton's shenanigans! At least he tried to put the dirty thing where we put ours! :)


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